Ageing Is a Privilege. I’d Like to Do It with Well-Looked-After Skin

Who decided ageing was a bad thing? And why am I expected to spend the rest of my life fighting it? Get lost. I’ve got things I want to do.

I like skincare. Give me a lovely cleansing balm, a serum and a moisturiser that makes my dry face feel comfortable, and I’m happy. What irritates me is the suggestion that enjoying those things must mean I’m desperately trying to look younger. I can care about my face without being ashamed of its age.

We’re told to fight ageing, then warned to do it gracefully. Apparently there’s even a correct way to get older. Well, I haven’t agreed to it. Ageing is a privilege, and I want to do it with well-looked-after skin. I also want to travel, date, try things and enjoy myself. My face is coming with me.

That doesn’t mean I’m delighted by every change. My skin can get very dry, and accepting my age doesn’t make that any more comfortable. You can also be perfectly happy getting older and still want to know whether a product might soften a few lines. There’s no contradiction there, however much the conversation seems determined to make us choose a side.

Around menopause, falling oestrogen levels can affect the skin’s ability to retain moisture, while collagen loss contributes to changes in firmness and more visible lines. Understanding that helps explain why products you’ve happily used for years might no longer feel enough. It gives you somewhere useful to start, beyond standing in a shop wondering which expensive promise to believe.

What earns its place in my bathroom

I’ve looked after my skin for a long time, and hydration gets plenty of attention because mine can become so dry. I enjoy the routine as well as the products, but I don’t believe everyone needs the same number of steps. You certainly don’t need to buy everything I mention here.

I double cleanse with a balm followed by a gel or cream cleanser. Favourites include Skin Rocks, Elemis, CeraVe and Aveeno Calm + Restore. There’s a range of prices in that list because I’m happy to buy an affordable product that suits my skin, and equally happy to spend more on something I enjoy. An expensive cleanser doesn’t earn extra points simply for being expensive.

Double cleansing is my preference rather than an instruction for everyone. The useful starting point is gentle cleansing that leaves your skin comfortable. Wipes are for festivals only and have no place in my daily routine. Some standards are temporarily suspended in a field.

If dryness is your main concern, give your cleanser and moisturiser some attention before adding something else. Dermatologists recommend gentle cleansing and moisturisers with ingredients such as glycerin or hyaluronic acid to help with menopausal dryness. Getting your skin comfortable is a worthwhile result in itself.

In the morning, I currently use Ole Henriksen Banana Bright Eye Crème, followed by Tatcha The Dewy Serum or Clarins Double Serum. Then comes Cetaphil Daily Hydrating Moisturiser. I appreciate those serums when my skin feels dry, and the Cetaphil is a reminder that a routine can happily mix price points. There’s no requirement for the bottles to belong to the same family.

If you’re starting from scratch, begin with a moisturiser that suits your skin and your budget. A hydrating serum can be an addition if you find it useful; separate eye products are something I choose to use. Neither should become another thing you feel you’re failing at because you haven’t bought it. We have enough nonsense to contend with.

My final morning step is SPF 50, an absolute non-negotiable for me. Sun exposure contributes to visible skin ageing, so sun protection deserves attention alongside anything bought for lines or firmness. Choose broad-spectrum UVA and UVB protection, use it as directed and reapply when needed, particularly outdoors. Shade and protective clothing matter too.

You’re allowed to care about the lines

I’m not going to swap the pressure to look younger for a different rule saying we must love every line or stop caring about our appearance. If something bothers you, you’re allowed to explore it. Knowing what skincare can realistically offer makes that a more informed choice.

Moisturiser can soften the appearance of some fine lines, and retinoids can help with mild lines and changes in texture. They can also cause dryness and irritation, so they need a careful introduction. Results are generally modest, and a cream cannot reproduce a facelift, whatever the price or the confidence of the advertising.

In the evening, I currently use a Beauty of Joseon retinal eye serum. For my face, I use Medik8 retinal three times a week, with a hydrating serum on the other evenings and my hydrating moisturiser on top. That’s a set pattern I’ve built over time and know my skin tolerates. It isn’t a starting schedule for someone opening their first bottle.

If you want to try a retinoid, follow the instructions, introduce it slowly and give your skin time to adjust. Increasing use while your face is irritated is unlikely to improve the experience. If your skin is particularly sensitive, get advice about whether it’s suitable before adding one.

Loss of firmness deserves realistic expectations too. There are changes a skincare routine won’t reverse, and understanding that can save a lot of money and disappointment. Decide what matters to you and what you’re happy to spend, rather than letting every new product announcement introduce another concern you didn’t have yesterday.

For anyone feeling overwhelmed, gentle cleansing, a suitable moisturiser and daily sun protection are a manageable place to begin. Once you’re happy with those, you can decide whether an additional product addresses something you actually want help with. Persistent itching, soreness or irritation deserves advice from a pharmacist or GP rather than another hopeful purchase.

I enjoy looking after myself. It sits alongside my hobbies, my family, travelling and taking chances on things I’ve always wanted to do. We all have responsibilities, but we have to weave fun and light through them too. There can be pleasure in a skincare routine without making it a project to correct everything that happens to our faces.

It’s called midlife for a reason. It’s the middle, not the end, and I don’t want my life to be small. I intend to keep looking after my skin while getting on with it. We’ve still got places to go.

You can explore some of the products I use in Midlife Wellness Finds. The edit contains affiliate links; I may earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.